identify identity
A recent trip to the past, literally!! It is close to one of those Hollywood movies where you find yourself standing at the same position you used to do 10 years ago. I find it lucky to have such an opportunity to reflect on events of life during that period.
Was confonted that I've changed. Indeed, am quite proud of that. How can people live without change? I wonder!! Try to think of yourself, the kind of lifestyle, things you enjoyed doing at that age...how do you rate yourself now? Are you still contented with the same thing? Please dont get me wrong. I have nothing against, and I dont look down on you if you still find the same pleasure...i just tend to have a different view. I contribute this to my short concentration span.
As for mysef, it has been a metaphore...since the past 3 years, so would sound better if we leave the discussion of 10 years. I have a different position socially, (in the community) From being a parasite, depending on the generousity of others, do self-earning. This has given me a different view and status in life. Apart from financial speaking, there are also goals. It just brings me back to the days, where I would admire and envy older friends who had good position in their career, freedom to move around and just meeting their goals. Now, I must say, (not by my own strength of course!) I am where I wanted myself to be. Why wouldnt I appreciate the change?
Sadly, everything comes with a price. Indeed, goals are met, satisfaction in life, but there is a trade-off. Identity!!! Was raised in a family where family values are highly observed. Living away from home, (let alone abroad) is almost un-heard of. Grow up to become somebody's wife and to support my husband. Live within the same community with the same language. Those would be my parent's dream..and unfortunately, these dreams would never come true.
Goals come with identity change. It is a package. Nobody could live with the past and yet achieve their dreams. So, who am i now? It remains a question for myself. Just an idea, i have black hair, yellow skin, but does that really qualify me to be a chinese as stated in my identity card? If not, where do i belong? This is not something I would be proud of as it may cause difficulties in life. But, if life is such an easy thing to do, what would be the challenge? Who are you, by the way? The chances if you stumble upon my blog, you would be one of those people who belong to the community of the world. Do you know where you belong? (am not refering to the type of passport you're holding) Your values, your opinon of life, the environment you feel most comfortable in...are they ever close where you've began your life?
Was confonted that I've changed. Indeed, am quite proud of that. How can people live without change? I wonder!! Try to think of yourself, the kind of lifestyle, things you enjoyed doing at that age...how do you rate yourself now? Are you still contented with the same thing? Please dont get me wrong. I have nothing against, and I dont look down on you if you still find the same pleasure...i just tend to have a different view. I contribute this to my short concentration span.
As for mysef, it has been a metaphore...since the past 3 years, so would sound better if we leave the discussion of 10 years. I have a different position socially, (in the community) From being a parasite, depending on the generousity of others, do self-earning. This has given me a different view and status in life. Apart from financial speaking, there are also goals. It just brings me back to the days, where I would admire and envy older friends who had good position in their career, freedom to move around and just meeting their goals. Now, I must say, (not by my own strength of course!) I am where I wanted myself to be. Why wouldnt I appreciate the change?
Sadly, everything comes with a price. Indeed, goals are met, satisfaction in life, but there is a trade-off. Identity!!! Was raised in a family where family values are highly observed. Living away from home, (let alone abroad) is almost un-heard of. Grow up to become somebody's wife and to support my husband. Live within the same community with the same language. Those would be my parent's dream..and unfortunately, these dreams would never come true.
Goals come with identity change. It is a package. Nobody could live with the past and yet achieve their dreams. So, who am i now? It remains a question for myself. Just an idea, i have black hair, yellow skin, but does that really qualify me to be a chinese as stated in my identity card? If not, where do i belong? This is not something I would be proud of as it may cause difficulties in life. But, if life is such an easy thing to do, what would be the challenge? Who are you, by the way? The chances if you stumble upon my blog, you would be one of those people who belong to the community of the world. Do you know where you belong? (am not refering to the type of passport you're holding) Your values, your opinon of life, the environment you feel most comfortable in...are they ever close where you've began your life?
posted by Jeannie at 8:24 pm
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