Que suis-je

Who am I? What am I? c'est vraiment un question tres diffile. au mois, pour moi. je n'arrive jamais a trouver un bon reponse. One of the consequence of invention which helps the boost of globalisation is the creation of new commnity in the world...who originates from somewhere(afterall, there is always the story of the begining) and at the same time, belongs to nowhwere. Who am I then?

It would be a million dollar question. Ever feel like a stranger in your own land, where 'your people' always have a different idea or language than the one that you know. While being a stranger in your own land, you too, are a stranger in a foreign land because you are not one of them. You live like them, you practise the same routines and yet, you are not them. Who are you then? Who am I?

Driver of life

Mid-life crisis , I often hear about when describing some 'older' people who is going through difficult patch of life. Obvious changes in their physical appearance to affirm or to boost their ego. This is all the contribution of some chemical element within us, called the hormone. Meanwhile, the 'younger ones' are struggling to find their path, to be have their presence acknowledged in the community. Feel the need to find your own path, constant thought of, what would be nice for me to do when I am older, there is so much in this world for me to conquer, but how am i going to conquer it. If you ever feel any of these, you are definitely in the 'younger generation'

But, how are we going to overcome this? Which is the right decision, to move on from the comfortable zone in order to persue our dream. We ask for signs and there are a few visible ones in front of us. Because it still does not take away the fear factor - fear of not reaching our goals, fear of not able to sustain ourselves out there, in most of all, fear to fail. which would be THE sign before we should take an action. It has been commented as stupid to move away from the solid bowl into some virtual golden pot out there as it might not be materialized. However, by sitting in our chair, would it be possible to reach the dreams that we have. How would you know if you dont try. After all that is said, our dreams and goals might just be an illusion, but with our greatest asset, youthfulness, wouldnt it be worthwhile attempting to find out the reality.

Limitaion due lack of experience and resources, all due to young in age. this should not even be considered as limitation. We are young, we are flexity, this is the advantage that we have over the others who is older. We are able to move from one country to another, switching job and taking up responsability which requires more energy. We have it, so use it!

When to fight

Recently, just finished another book by Paulo Coelho. It discussed aobut the giving up point, or Accomodador. During the process of reading, it was just so simple to identify scenarios in life that would fit in. Sometime in the past, there has been an occasion where I given up when things were just doing great, and some other occasion for another giving up act. A sense of guilt or remorse came and determination to understand myself so that it would not happen again.

On second thought, there are also incidences where we give up voluntarily. Whatever reason it may be, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success even!!(afraid of losing something precious if is successful) Isn't human complicated. What do we want exactly? Cant we just make up our mind what is it that we really wanted and go towards it. NO!! It may sound easy but I personally doubt it.

For example, we set a goal in life and working hard towards it. Like anything else, there are obstacles and after crossing a few hurdles, we give up. Why? Because there is poor visibility of 'contentment' in the achievement. Does it bring any meaning if we labour day and night, to find ourself sleeping alone in a big house? Wouldnt yout hink its better to give up all the hardwork and enjoy life in another way?

The point is not about not giving up, but the question is, when should we fight? whats the meanign of wining if the prize will come with all the other elements or reminders which will cause pain in the future. On the other hand, be a chicken and hide. Get away from all the potentials obstacles, do not get any goals and hence, there will be no disappointment....would that be a better way? Which would you choose?

I'm like a bird

This song was introduced to me once while I was studying in England. Actually, I have heard of this song prior to that but it is just part of me that songs title would nto be able to stay in my memory for long. The friend who recommended the song said that the songs suits me, "I'm like a bird, I wanna fly away, I dont know where my home is.."

Recently, a book has stirred me to consider, what is freedom? Is it the state where we are all alone and we think we can do whatever because we are alone? I quite agree with the author,that freedom is actually, the ability to choose. Some of us are 'free' and yet we are not able to commit ourselves to anything because we are afraid to be tied down. This is definitely not a kind of freedom. We commit ourselves because we like it, thats would sound more like freedom.

Ok, back to the bird story. It may seem like I am a bird, finding holes in a cage, trying to find a way out of it. but, little did you know that the reality is, there was actually a mirror in front of what you see. The person you see is not in the cage but on the outside, working hard to find a hole so that i can enter into the cage and be safe in there. Some place where to be at rest and somewhere to demonstrate skills, and specially with lots of freedom!! Not meeting expectations of anyone, including my very own. what an irony! Is there such a place?