Pre-Malaysia

In a few days, will be leaving Prague, a city which I have made home to myself. very mixed feeling. Some months ago, when the idea of going to malaysia (my homeland) came up, I was estastic! Will be travelling with sandy and my niece, zoey. Thought it would be exciting enough to see the next generation of people playing with another as I used to do with my cousins.

Right, so come the time, for me to see all that in real life. Putting all the future tense used to present tense. But, why am i not excited about it anymore? What happened? Still the same plan, still breathing the same air...so what is different? ME!

Fear of achieving set goals. Afraid of going back to the familiar place, where I was 8 months ago, to find things are no longer the same. How can anyone be the same since I've also changed in these months. Unfortunately, my mindset has not changed. My idea of the people back at home are the same...like how they used to be. I know, this is pure naivity.

After that, 3 weeks later, will be Post-malaysia. But at this pre period, life is so certain. how would it be after Malaysia? Not the slightest clue. paranoid or timid, you may call it. Am suffering!! Yet know not know how to communicate.

Once again

Alpha and omega, the begining and the end. Thing that get started will have to end one day. Circle of life, however, there is some brilliant people on earth who has designed something that has no ending.....wonder what?? It's a ring!!! That is why it is a common object used at weddings, a gift to be exchanged by couples...to represent their vows for each other that the relationship wih no ends. how sweet.

Recently a friend mentioned, life is learning. how much can we learn in life? Storage space used to be one of the biggest restriction for the development of technology. To build an automated system would require a storage space like a warehouse!!! However, these days, storage is so cheap that even a lame person is able to walk around with a few gigabtyes!! Ever wonder the capacity of human storage.

I would like to know, what is my capacity. I dont know, still living in faith that it will be revealed to me one day. how much can i take in? how much can i endure? how much can i enjoy so that i dont break the elasticity of the rubber band theory? questions...yet again.

On the bright side, it's monday morning...Morning > new day! Monday > new week!
New day + New week + New mind = Future.

We cant change the past. Things that have burdened us, wear us down...made us feel or act stupid. Those are the things that we will have to live with....However, the good news is, we can change the future!!! It is stll in your hand. How you live your life...and how you want the ending of the story...it's in YOUR HAND! Start to shape them now. Like anything else, trimming and cutting would cause pain but if you deal with it long enough, it will produce fruit...fruit that you want...(goals in life!)
After all, nothing is impossible.

Whichever tough events looks impossible, but i still believe, it is darkest before dawn. when you open your eyes to appreciate the dawn of the day, you will get to see a new view of the horizon. the world is not all that dark anymore...live with it!

Tell me why

Bumping around, living a life to the fullest. Promised myself that would never get into some messy situation. Just the age to do the "right"(what is right?) thing, and live a life like anyone else. Stop contradicting and be "normal" (again, what's normal)

By any standard, the right thing in life is the normal life. A life where everyone knows about with a standard that everyone tries hard to follow. Born, grow up as an obedient child, attend school, go to university, graduate and then, get a job, settle down with someone whom you would profess to the world, you love! Yeah, that sounds right. Unfortunately, most often than not, we fall out of this normal life..we do things in the dark, hoping nobody would find out. Skipping classes, getting into relationship before the expected stage (ie. dating while still at school), skipping work or having partners but not settling down!

How about living a life, with the standard you want for yourself. STudy or settle down when you are ready, not when you reach the age! Wont you like something like that. Well, frankly, i think i've done my very best to achieve that...but am i really the winner? (or loser?) still a big question mark in my head.

Where do all these lead you? The "right" standard or your own standard. Although they both have different path...but i can assure you, two different paths lead to one destination....QUESTION!! Either way, you would still be questioning yourself...if this is the right thing. Probably, the "right" thing is just a myth. there is never a Right or a wrong. Everythign you do, just come with consequences...some are in your favour, or some not.

Question question...here is my question for the week

Tell me why
You came to my life
Loving me, caring me,
Giving me nothing but a complete life
Tell me why


Tell me why
High of lives will have to come with lows
Like your presence drives me to highest point
And your absence to the lowest pit
Tell me why


Tell me why
Thoughts of you brings a smile
Missing you makes me run a mile
Away from you, hold me down
Tell me why


In my bed I want to stay
No better place to rest my head
Locking the space, hoping time will stay
Reality in life brave I will be to face