Pre-Malaysia

In a few days, will be leaving Prague, a city which I have made home to myself. very mixed feeling. Some months ago, when the idea of going to malaysia (my homeland) came up, I was estastic! Will be travelling with sandy and my niece, zoey. Thought it would be exciting enough to see the next generation of people playing with another as I used to do with my cousins.

Right, so come the time, for me to see all that in real life. Putting all the future tense used to present tense. But, why am i not excited about it anymore? What happened? Still the same plan, still breathing the same air...so what is different? ME!

Fear of achieving set goals. Afraid of going back to the familiar place, where I was 8 months ago, to find things are no longer the same. How can anyone be the same since I've also changed in these months. Unfortunately, my mindset has not changed. My idea of the people back at home are the same...like how they used to be. I know, this is pure naivity.

After that, 3 weeks later, will be Post-malaysia. But at this pre period, life is so certain. how would it be after Malaysia? Not the slightest clue. paranoid or timid, you may call it. Am suffering!! Yet know not know how to communicate.